Zelensky wants Putin tried and arrested by the New World Order Court. "If that's what Zelensky wants, well, then that's what Zelensky wants," said Biden's spokesman. Iraqis and Afghans have long called for war crime trials for the Bush/Obama wars. And China, the US says, is committing genocide against the Uyghurs. Japan wants reparations for the atomic bombs dropped on its cities, and Germany wants the war criminals who incinerated Dresden to answer for their evil deeds. Mexico wants redress for what President Grant in his memoirs calls a war crime, and Native Americans are seeking justice against the criminal aggressors who "illegally invaded" their country contrary to the rule of International Law. They want the descendants of Chinese laborers who scarred the land with criminal railroad tracks to answer for their crimes against humanity, while the descendants of General Custer are suing the Sioux Nation for using excessive force against their hero which they knew could seriously compromise the state of his health.
The UN and the the World Court have thousands of experts (all with five star expense accounts) collecting evidence of potential war crimes in Ukraine (it's the next Good War, brothels and all). The US asks that Japan's claims be dismissed because the nuclear bombs destroyed all the evidence. Not so, says Japan, because we now have carbon data sifting that can probe the depths to reveal potential crime. We'll see. As for Afghanistan, they can't get the experts to go within 500 miles of it, because it lacks a "decent nightlife." A more recent discovery presents an even graver problem. For documents reveal that the Hague, where Global Babel sits in august session, was built with the proceeds of slave labor, and that most of the judges are direct descendants of slave traders whose extreme wealth, passed on to their offspring, is at the root of the elite privilege which is the major cause of structural inequality and injustice now in the crosshairs of Cultural Marxist Theory. All in good time. Good pay if you can get it. And all very grave. These experts hover in Babel like flies on Beelzebub. And the nightclubs in Ukraine are in full roar. "Hell opened her mouth without measure" with a five year waitlist for your next order of Hellfire missiles. The price? You'll find out when you get them. Of course, if you wish to cancel there are hundreds on the waiting list.......So many wars, so little ammunition.
But Zelensky wants Putin arrested and brought to trail. "Now let the cowboys ride" as they say over there. The Americans like that sort of thing, you know. But it makes perfect sense. Once they get Putin arrested they can offer him early parole to make him come to terms and not start a nuclear war, provided he doesn't burn the world down to destroy the evidence against him in the first place. All in good time. As we say in the desert: if you're afraid to poke a needle in the eye of a camel, try by standing on the end of a beam balanced on the back of a mote. And once they get the war over with, the scholars can begin debating its roots and causes, which are as sundry and diverse as they are manifold and profound.
Aside from the main cause of the war--Putin bribing Germany with free gas to undermine NATO--, others have been proposed, of which the strangest consists of a combination of Einstein's last two unsolved theorems (see my proofs below), desert folk wisdom, and the Toyota pickup truck. Einstein theorized that stupidity is doomed to triumph over genius, because, he liked to say, "there are limits to genius" (again see the proofs below). Next, he conjectured that WW4 would be fought with sticks and stones. In other word, in the Stone Age. The Stone Age, uber-rich oil sheiks chide their people, did not end when sluggards ran out of stones. In short, sooner or later, we'll have to roll up our sleeves and get to work if we wish to eat. An idle boast. It costs them $7.50 to produce one barrel. At $80 a barrel on the market--why work?
A learned Taliban, who endured two weeks in a University to prove that nothing is more dangerous than a little knowledge, spliced the bits and pieces of his hard earned wisdom together in what he called a Theory of Everything, and cast it before his apocalyptic elders as a bullet proof plan of conquest. As everyone knows, for an apocalyptic, any war is always the Last War, which will see the world purged by a global inferno. Thus they were led to see Einstein's WW4 Postulate as prophetic, with themselves as the main actors. This is why the US lost the Afghan war. Because you can't just leapfrog over a world war to get to the next one. Thus you had WW3 up against WW4, with both sides shooting past each other, because both were in the wrong war. How else could the US deplete $4 trillion of high tech weapons and leave the Taliban stronger than ever? Both sides were shadow boxing with the wrong war, and when it was all over the Taliban was right back where it started, none the worse for its endless riches of stones, for as the sheiks and Einstein both say, the world will never run out of either stupidity or stones.
Enter the Toyota pickup truck in which, by a strange coincidence, Einstein meets Stone Age. For the most vivid impression of the Taliban in most people's mind is to see them in the back of Toyotas roaring out from their barren hills like a Wild West posse. What am I missing here, I used to say? Afghanistan doesn't have a drop of oil, they're always going at full speed, and you never see a gas station or even a fuel container.
Did you hear about the British adventurers who set out to prove once and for all that it is possible to bring a Toyota to its knees? They took a brand new Toyota, I am told, shipped it to the most uninhabitable place in the world (which has to be Afghanistan, although I wasn't told that), ran it up cliffs, down rivers, and when they could do no more, in desperation, drained all the oil and left it running thinking it would self destruct. It just kept on purring like a kitten, like the day it came out of the factory. In a final act of despair, they called in the US Air Force to use up its remaining supply of bombs on it. They bombed and bombed (including one bunker buster with which they blew off the top of Tora Bora only to see Osama watching cartoons), and after two weeks they gave up and went home. In order not to leave it in the hands of the Taliban, a member of the CIA, who knew something of the ways of the East, suggested inserting a CD with Beethoven's 9th Symphony playing endlessly. If you know the ways of the desert, you already know what is about to happen next, for in their Friday Prayers, they take someone caught listening to music, turn his head sideways (one ear up, the other down) to show the faithful how on the Day of Judgment, a cauldron of hot lead will be poured into (through) their ears as punishment (they don't seem to realize that that's how they invented the Woofer). It was as you might think. The Taliban eyed it with utmost fear and suspicion and refused to enter it. After agonizing many days (a Toyota is like a prize camel over there), they felt that they had no other recourse but to wrap it with their remaining belts, pulled the cord, and after a fearful noise, waited and waited, when, after twenty minutes, "plop"--there it was, or what was left of it, still running merrily like the day it came out of the factory. At their wits end, they now laid hands on two sturdy camels of the firmest resolution, hitched them with break-away lanyards (so they wouldn't drown, because the Afghans are fanatical about their camels) and drove them into the sea in order to rid the land of the wicked burden.
Here the trail, as far as I can make out, goes cold until the first of the year, when the KGB approached Putin and informed him that they had detected the most strange and unusual noises coming from the bottom of the Ocean northward, as you fetch a compass, of Japan. Which could only mean that the CIA had invented some dread device against Russia. Already paranoid, Putin felt compelled to act at once, and the rest, as everyone knows, is history.
And the strange noises, you say? There's an easy explanation for that. If you remember that the Taliban spend their idle time watching cartoons, of which their favorite is the Stone Age Flintstones, you too may have often wondered what their crude cars ran on,. For long before they became oil rich despots, desert lore tells us, they were stone-rich sheiks. But "stone," as you remember from your classics, is the word "petra" and petroleum simply means liquid rock. What could be plainer? Fred and Barney ran their cars on stones, easily proved by the desert proverb that the age of petroleum did not begin because caveman ran out of petras. Petroleum is no more than more refined stone. It's that simple. And, as everyone knows, Afghanistan doesn't have a drop of oil, but is made up of one stone on another all the way up to Tora Bora (or what's left of it). The noise coming from the Ocean floor was no more than a worn and battered Toyota making its way home for a well deserved rest, because, as everyone knows, Japan is where old Toyotas go to die. And it was making strange noises, because, as everyone knows, there are no stones on the Ocean floor, and the poor thing had to make do with seawater. The latter is to be kept in the strictest confidence as the CIA does not want it to get into the hands of the Taliban, lest they carry their war to the open seas, and it would not do to have WW4 intrude again just as Biden/Blinken are doing their best to hatch WW3.